August was my birthday month and I decided I wanted to spend my birthday alone. I packed a bag and headed for a weekend at the beach. It gave me an opportunity to reflect on the past year, and past experiences and relationships. I felt so grateful and blessed for another year of life. I was able to reflect on my past relationships and realized how those past relationships and life experiences help me grow and clearly see what I want and do not want for my life and future relationships.
In the past, I have extended my friendship to those who didn’t deserve and no longer served who I was. I realized it was ok to forgive but I didn’t have to keep whoever I forgave in my life. Which is something I always did. Forgiveness wasn’t a pass to keep someone in my life, it was for me to let go of what no longer serves me. It is okay to forgive and keep moving forward without the other person. Forgiveness is not a submission to the wrongs others have done to me. Forgiveness is a release of the power those wrongs have had over me. It is a conscious decision that the pain and hurt that has been festering can no longer stop me from moving forward. It really has nothing to do with that other person, they have their own battle to fight.
Often people get confused thinking that forgiveness means everything must go back to the way it was, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You can allow someone back into your life who has wronged you, but you are by no means obligated to do so! You can fully forgive someone and choose to distance yourself from them, and that is okay and completely up to you. I have chosen to distance myself and it felt good, and powerful to do so.
Just because you forgive someone’s actions, it does not mean you still have to allow them to be present in your life, the more I thought about it the better I felt about letting go of the people in my past and those who had wrong me.
Forgiveness is an internal process to help you heal and recover. I realized the choice I made was the right one and I felt extremely comfortable doing that because I chose to. There was one more person I needed to forgive and that person was me because I deeply love myself. Forgiveness and self-forgiveness are part of self-care and self-love.
Is there is someone in your life that you need to forgive? Someone you need to remove from your life, do it because holding on to bitterness doesn’t serve you or your higher purpose in life. Let it go and let them go if you choose. Just because you once shared a part of your life with someone and forgave them for their wrongs against you does not mean you need to keep them in your life. Know that one of the most powerful things we can do is forgive ourselves and others, and let go of what no longer serves us in life. It will be one of the best choices you will ever make in your life.