I remember how dating was for me when Lupus was active in my system. I wanted to be clear and honest with the person I was dating. After the first date was over I would always let the man know that I suffered from Lupus. I didn’t want to waste his time or mine if he had second thoughts about dating someone with a health condition. People can be funny about things like that and I understand and get that.

I feel dating with Lupus went well for me, I only met one man who had a problem with my condition and told me “You’re great but I don’t know what Lupus is and I am afraid I may catch something” At the end of the day that was his choice and his lost, I wouldn’t want to date anyone that closed-minded and fearful.

Dating with Lupus can be challenging because you want the person to like you, but you don’t know how they will react when you eventually tell them about your illness. Such as in the situation with that particular guy I went on a date with. From my experience, there is a flip side to all of this; a person who likes you it’s going to ask you what is Lupus? And they will go out of their way to learn more about Lupus to become educated about the illness so they can be more supportive. They will want to know more about you and what you’re going through.

Help your partner learn more about Lupus by providing essential information on your condition. You and your partner should work on healthy communication so he or she understands what you’re going through and how they can help support you when you are not feeling well. If your relationship becomes serious then you should create a Lupus care file that is accessible to your partner that lists your doctors, medications, and other essential information in case of an emergency. There will be days you won’t be able to go out due to a lupus flare-up. Past partners of mine understood, and those days became home movie nights of us laying on the couch watching movies or tv. I was very blessed because I had the opportunity to date men who were open to doing that. I dated men who supported me and stood by me and were there for me during bad flare-ups even after we stop dating and during the time Lupus attacked my heart, I’m grateful for their love, support, and friendship during those difficult times in my journey.

What I will say to my Lupus ninjas who are suffering from lupus and want to date, is love yourself first before you decided to date, feel comfortable in your skin accept yourself for who you are, practice self-acceptance, self-care, and self-love. Once you’re able to do that, the universe will bring someone into your life who will love you and show you support during your journey.  Anyone who tries to define you by your condition doesn’t deserve to be in your life because you are much more than someone with Lupus you are a person who is a lovable and caring human being that deserves to be loved in return. Tap into your power and don’t settle for anything less.